Loss and Gain
by anonymous dom LUVR
Summary: ***UPDATED*** Kel and Dom ... what happens after Kel loses feelings for Cleon and a certain handsome seargeant takes a liking to her? R&R ... read to find out and review for the sake of reviewing - I'm . . . BACK! Bigger, better, and ... mushier?
1. The First Chapter *oooh how creative*

A/N this is my FIRST fic, so plz dun flame me unless itz constructive, k??? um . . . so lyk my name says, i'm an anonymous dom LUVR . . . lol so um i LUVVVV dom n he's da best 4 kel. obviously, tammy thinx so 2, cuz I got spoilers 4 lady knight *hehe* . . . also, i havent read the PotS in a looong tym cuz i wuz lyk waitin 4 Lady Knight . . . so um wut else . . . enjoy??? o yah, one mor thingi . . . i, as u mite've realized by now, luv doin ". . ." so bear w/ me k?!?!?! so . . . er . . . um . . . read ???  
  
Disclaimer: do i LOOOOOOOOOOOOK lyk tammy 2 ne of u out there ??!?!??!?! *angry glare* NOOOOOOO *well u wouldnt kno now would u . . . hehehe* so i do NOT own ne of this . . . need i elaborate???  
  
k, so . . . now 4 the story . . .  
  
Kel leaned against the window, mindlessly tapping her fingers against the window pane. Even though there was so much to do now that she was a knight in the King's Own, she still couldn't stop thinking about Cleon. She sighed, and tried to envision him as he was when she had last seen him. His good-natured grin, his fiery red hair, and his strong arms, always there to hold her when she needed him to. She sighed again, as she watched a couple from the court stroll through the palace gardens. "Kel!!! We're going off to dinner at the mess hall, meet you there, ok?"somebody yelled from outside her closed door. "Yeah, sure! See you guys there!" Kel replied cheerfully as she tried to cheer herself up out of her sorrowful state.  
  
At dinner, she was her usual self, joking and chatting around with the rest of the newly-knighted knights *A/N er, yea*. She grinned, realizing that these knights were no different than they were as squires, still fighting over who put the cockroach in Merric's bed, still forgetting to "Eat your vegetables, Neal,"Kel said in a prissy, fussy voice that somehow sounded exactly like the plump lady who had served the meal.  
  
When they were done with dinner, each separated to their own separate rooms. Kel made her way slowly to her room where the rest of the King's Own was stationed *A/N . . .*, full from the big dinner she had just eaten. She had just laid her hand on the wooden door handle when a dry voice made her jump in surprise. "Why hello my dear LADY Knight. And how are you enjoying your knighthood?" a man drawled behind her. "Joren *A/N I know he died in Squire, but I needed him for something, so I called him back from the dead, k? Then, after these first two chapters, I'll return him back, k?!??*, get lost," Kel said carefully, trying not to get herself into any trouble with him. "I'm sorry my lady, I haven't gotten a chance to give you something I've owed you for a loooooong time,"the handsome blonde replied. With that, he moved forward to punch Kel squarely in her jaw before she could realize what was happening . . .  
  
A/N k, um dat wuznt much of a cliffhanger, eh . . . ? heh heh . . . itz not safe to have ur readerz mad @ u on ur first chappy, er I'll continue . . . a few minutez K??? I kno itz really bad *whimperwhimper* but plz . . . click dat happy lil blue-grey button below n REVIEW k??? I dun mind flames, as long as they're CONSTRUCTIVE . . . *glare*  
  
o^j^o 0 -review . . . u must . . . V 


	2. Continuation of The First Chapter

A/N k, um, continuation from last chapter, n domz actually make an appearance!!! Yippee!!! Okey I'll shut up now . . .  
  
. . . but someone else shot out an arm and caught Joren's wrist before it made contact with Kel. Joren glared at the person, but was smart enough to leave, but not before shooting one last glare at Kel. "Um, thanks Dom. I never thought that he would actually still have the nerve to do that after we both became knights! That bastard!" Kel muttered angrily, still staring at where Joren had been standing. "No prob, milady,"Dom replied with a fake formal accent. Then, with a flourishing bow, he turned away and returned to his room two doors over from Kel's. As for Kel, she returned to her room and lay down on the bed. She didn't know why, but she noticed that she was feeling kind of shaky and jelllyish inside, almost like when Cleon was around. *Probably caught the Joren bug* she thought jokingly to herself before taking a quick bath and going to bed.  
  
K, next chappy up in lyk . . . er l8a . . . hehe 


	3. AUTHOR NOTE

AUTHOR NOTE: Since I'm still new 2 ff.net writing-wise, lotsa stuff lyk formattin iz messed up, so hang w/ me k??? since they're lyk fixin da serverz rite now, I cant upload much cuz itz so slow n stuff, I promise 2 do mor . er . sum day ???  
  
Also, my lil " . . . " hav turned into ".", n so itz really weird, n I need 2 seriously fix stuff . !!! plz!!! b patient w/ me here!!! 


	4. The Letter *oooh aaah*

Then next morning, Kel woke up early as usual, and started one of her glaive patterns. She was just in the middle of "Stalking Butterfly" *A/N er, wut do they call em???* when she heard a soft tap on her door.  
  
"Come in!" she called, wondering who was up at such an early hour.  
  
"Er, hi Kel," a giant of a man said timidly as he stepped into the room.  
  
"Oh Raoul!!! I was wondering where you've been these past few days. Are we going to move out soon? I heard the war in Scanra is getting worse," Kel said as she hugged her former knight-master.  
  
"Well, yes the war is getting worse, and Jon said that he might send Third Company out in maybe a few more weeks or so," Raoul replied. He reached into his pocket and got out a slightly mud-splattered envelope before continuing. "I was asked by someone to deliver this letter to you. Here you go. See you at breakfast!" He left the room and shut the door carefully so it wouldn't wake up the other not-so-early wakers.  
  
"Hmm, who could it be . . .," Kel mused as she carefully opened the envelope.  
  
***TEN MINUTES LATER***  
  
"Oh finally, you sweet thing," Kel muttered to the sheet of parchment in her hands.  
  
Dearest Kel, I don't have much time to write this, but we are going to be returning in two days. It's not easy here against the Scanrans, especially with their new tin-monsters. But soon, I will be able to see you again, my sweet pearl of dawn. ~Yours, Cleon  
  
She had read it through five times already, and could barely contain her excitement. Humming happily, she put her glaive away and washed up for breakfast.  
  
  
  
A/N er . . . sorry if u guys cant read me when I type "slang" so to speak. Ummm so reviews please??? I cant believe I got some good ones *sighs happily* LUV U GUYS!!! *grins maniacally* so, shall I continue??? 


	5. Confusing thoughts

***A FEW DAYS LATER***  
  
Kel wolfed down her breakfast of eggs and toast and downed her orange juice in one gulp. Today was the day Cleon was going to come back! Her friends gave her occasional odd glances, but all knew the reason behind it. All of a sudden, she felt a pair of calloused, yet warm, hands around her eyes.  
  
"Guess who, my sunshine," A good-natured voice asked teasingly.  
  
"CLEON!!!" Kel yelled in mock-anger before swinging around on the bench and giving him a big hug.  
  
Noticing that they were starting to attract attention, Kel took one of Cleon's big hands and led him outside to the gardens.  
  
"I've missed you so much!" Kel told him with a fake whine, "And is too much time with those Scanrans ruining your poeticness???" She demanded.  
  
"Calm down, my soft cloud from heaven," he replied, backing up in pretend intimidatedness *a/n huh?*. "It's just been so hectic up there that I couldn't come back."  
  
"It's ok," Kel said, noticing that he was turning a little sheepish. "I know duties are duties."  
  
Slowly, Cleon turned her around to face him and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you, Kel." He whispered.  
  
A round of cheers exploded behind them. "Go you big carrot-head!" cried Neal.  
  
The couple spun around to the grins of their friends. "Well, is this a big show or something!??!" sputtered Kel, who was now as red as Cleon's hair.  
  
***********************  
  
Later, as Kel snuggled up to her covers at bed-time, she found that she was very confused. When Cleon had kissed her, she had noticed that she no longer had that passion that had been there before. *No, it can't be. I still love him. We just need some time, that's all* she thought determinedly to herself. *Oh really . . . * another part of her brain answered, forming an image of the person who was sleeping two doors away from her. *SHUT UP!!!* Kel retorted inwardly, yet she couldn't help feeling a little perplexed inside.  
  
A/N Continue??? School almost starting!!! *GASP* o no, o well . . . 


	6. Sorry to all you Cleon fans out there!

O I was SOOOOOOOOO happy when I saw all of my wonderful reviews!!! *sobsobsob* well, so anyways, I'll try not to do slang in my author notes ok??? But my finger really hurts since I caught it in a door on Saturday . yeowch! To KeladryLadyKnight: I got spoilers from someone on ff.net, I forgot who it was, but if you want to know, I think I can find out for you. I got the whole story basically planned out last weekend . yum! Ummm, I'm gonna do longer chapters now . . . YIPPEE!!!  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A couple of weeks passed by, and Kel spent many of the days with Cleon. But at the end of the two weeks, she still didn't get any of the feelings that had been there before. No rush of emotion, no fiery passion, . . . nothing. And even when she consoled herself that it was something time could fix, it just didn't work.  
  
*How could I not love him anymore?* Kel thought silently to herself when she was at dinner one day. She stole a glance at the redhead, and found his grey eyes staring lovingly at her. *I can't hurt him, but . . . I don't know. I'll have to tell somebody*  
  
"Hey Kel, what's wrong? You look kind of pale," Neal asked worriedly.  
  
"Umm, can I talk with you later, Neal?" She answered nervously, "I, um, have a bruise I need you to help me fix."  
  
"Sure," he replied.  
  
After dinner, they walked together to his room.  
  
"So where's the little bruiser?" Neal asked good-naturedly.  
  
"Well, actually, Neal, I just needed to talk with you, and I really don't have much of a bruise," Kel confessed.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Well, it's just that, after these weeks with Cleon, I don't think that I actually, well, I love/I him anymore. I don't know, 'cause I can't help it. I try to, but now whenever I think of him, it's only as a friend. I don't know what I should do, 'n I don't want to hurt him or anything."  
  
She looked up imploringly at Neal. He wore a troubled face, and he sat down on the bed and scratched his head.  
  
"Well, I don't know Kel. He really loves you. But you shouldn't lead him on, if you know what I mean. I think you should tell him, since it'll be for his own good, and you can save him some pain. Poor guy, he has to marry that heiress any way."  
  
Kel thought this over. Neal was right; it wasn't right for her to lead him on.  
  
"Well, thanks Neal. I guess I'll have to tell him. It's good to have a friend around to talk to," She finally said, and stood up and hugged him warmly before leaving.  
  
She walked thoughtfully back towards her room she was halfway there when she saw a bright flash of red out of the corner of her eye.  
  
"Oh my sweet ray of sunshine, I was looking for you!" Cleon called.  
  
*Well, here goes. Oh Mithros, Goddess, help me through this!* Nervously, Kel walked towards him.  
  
When she had reached where he was standing, he leaned in to kiss her. But she had other plans, and, instead, she took one of his big hands and led him towards a little corner in the hall.  
  
"Um, Cleon, we need to talk." She started timidly.  
  
"Yes, of course, my rose," He murmured softly, stroked her face softly.  
  
Kel reached up a hand and stopped him. "I, . . . well, I - I don't think that I love you anymore Cleon," She started and looked up at him. He had such a shocked expression on his face that he couldn't move, so she continued. "I know what you feel about me, but I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. We can still be friends, right? Please, Cleon." She looked up at him again. A few tears were in danger of falling out of the corners of his grey eyes, and he had such a hurt expression on his face that she couldn't bear to look anymore, and looked down at her shoes. Finally, he spoke.  
  
"I - I, . . . you - you -you can't . . ." Slowly, he turned and walked briskly towards his room, leaving Kel there in the hall, holding her head in her heads, sobbing silently.  
  
A/N: soo, what's gonna happen next??? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!!! 


	7. Oooh Lala! The Beginning of Something!

A/N : I'M BACK!!! Yay!!! So, new chappie, enjoy!  
  
--==--==--==-- the next morning @ breakfast . . . --==--==--==--  
  
Kel couldn't stand it anymore. She was sitting with the usual crowd; Neal, Seaver, Faleron, Owen (A/N: the missing people are off fighting somewhere), and . . . Cleon. He kept throwing her those sad, puppy-dog looks that she just really couldn't stay. Finally, she picked up her unfinished tray of breakfast and stood up. Spotting some of the Own in another table a few rows down she moved her way to their table.  
  
"Hi. Mind if I sit with you guys?" she asked a few members of Third Company.  
  
"Why look, it's our Lady Kel!" Dom called in mock surprise.  
  
"Hullo there, Mindelan!" Quasim said warmly.  
  
Taking the comments as a "yes," she sat down. She glanced up at her friend Domitan of Masbolle. *He really is quite handsome with his soft green (A/N: or is it blue???) eyes and his smiling mouth and his -* STOP, she scolded herself silently. She didn't notice it, but she had been staring at him, and when he looked at her, she blushed slightly and decided to change the topic.  
  
"So where'd Raoul go? Haven't seen him 'round lately," she asked.  
  
"Oh, he went off to ask ol' Jon 'bout going off to Scanra. Got scolded a little, poor guy. Now he's basically been "grounded" in his room for the last week or so," Dom replied nonchalantly, but his eyes were twinkling as he fought not to laugh.  
  
She had a good time with the men, joking around and trading stories. When she glanced in Cleon's direction, she found him staring at her still. She sighed and got up. After putting her tray away, she walked towards the practice courts.  
  
  
  
"Hey Kel, wait up!" someone called behind her. Turning around, she found herself staring into the smiling green (A/N someone tell me, blue or green?!?!?!?!) eyes of . . . Dom.  
  
"Hi," she said, trying not to blush.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
  
"Down to the practice courts," she replied, not daring to look into his dancing green (A/N !!!) eyes.  
  
"Betcha I can beat you in fencing!" he called as he raced down the hall.  
  
"Not so easily, Dommy boy!" she cried as she ran after him.  
  
At the practice courts, they took a practice sword each and faced each other. Each matched the other in every move. However, near the end, Dom flashed her a grin as she tried to slice from under his arm, distracting her. A second later, she found herself half-sprawled on the dirt, a dull blade at her throat.  
  
"Well, Lady Knight, looks like I win, don't it?" Dom asked, grinning, then offered his hand to her.  
  
Kel scowled up at him, but took his hand all the same. But instead of letting go when he had gotten her up, he pulled her closer. Slowly, he leaned down and gently grazed his lips against hers. Then, as if surprised at what he had done, he let go of her hand and briskly walked off.  
  
A/N: oo lala! Sorry, this chapter was shorter than I intended it to be, but I need to go right now, so, er, until later then! To LadyKnight: as you can see, no. too bad . . . LOL. 


	8. More Confusing thoughts

A/N SOOO SORRY HAVEN'T WRITTEN FOR SOOOOO LONG!!! School, yerghch, ya know . . . well read lady knight, its SOO good!!! What happens to her is . . . not what most ppl would expect, but datz ok. Enjoy story now!!!  
  
The glaive whirled in an arc above her head, then struck to a stop at her feet. Kel stood up straight, panting after her strenuous glaive dance. Hoping to calm her flustered (A/N can I use it like that?) feelings, Kel had walked straight from the practice courts to her room and picked up her glaive to do the "Fight of the Tiger" pattern dance, the most difficult one she knew. Now, all she felt was tired. She sat slowly onto her bed, trying to sort out her thoughts. *Do I love him?* she asked herself silently *or is it just another phase of mine . . . ?* Sighing again, she straightened herself in front of the mirror and strode out of the room, her face like a calm lake (A/N btw, did I mention that I HATE the lakers??? Well, I do!!! DEATH TO SHAQ!!!).  
  
"Um, my Lord? May I talk to you for a moment?" Kel stepped timidly into the room where the commander was sorting through documents on a cluttered desk. He cleared a corner of it and poured her a cup of cider.  
  
When he saw that she was well settled on a chair across from him, he spoke. "What did you wish to speak to me for?" he asked kindly.  
  
"Well, uh, I've been having a lot of time on my hands lately. So I was wondering . . . if you had something planned for me?" she asked nervously. It wasn't right for a soldier to ask her commander what to do.  
  
"I have something planned for you, but I wanted you to rest a few weeks first. Now, it seems like you're well rested enough. I'll tell you tomorrow morning. Report here after breakfast.  
  
"Yessir!" Kel replied, happy to know that she had something better to do than think about a certain /handsome/ young man.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Kel!!! Wait, Kel!!!" someone cried behind her.  
  
Kel spinned around, and her happiness of a minute ago vanished. Dom was waving and yelling towards her, a big grin on his face.  
  
"Kel, I'm sorry about what happened earlier," Dom said as evenly as he could without panting. "I forgot about your, I mean our statuses. It won't happen again, I swear . . . unless you want it to."  
  
She looked deep into his blue eyes (A/N finally, read Lady Knight n got real factsies!!!), and sighed. "Apology accepted." She replied, trying not to blush from being so close to him.  
  
"Unless you want it to," He said softly as a last paring remark before striding off, leaving her gaping at his back.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
She picked at her food that evening, even though it was her favorite. Tender venison with wild greens. And lemon shortcake. With whipped cream. She was sitting by herself at a little table in the corner, as far away from both Cleon and Dom as she could get. She saw Neal stand up with his tray, talking to Seaver, Esmond, and Merric, who started to stand up, too. He walked towards her. *Should I tell him?* she wondered.  
  
"Kel, what's the matter?" Neal asked bluntly.  
  
"Um, nothing. Just feeling a little 'off' today." She replied evenly, not sure of what to do.  
  
"Come on, we both know somethin''s up."  
  
G2G NOW, ADD MORE LATER!!! 


	9. I Love You!

"Neal, . . . I think that . . . I think that I am allergic to lemon shortcakes. After I discovered that today, I was very sad at the thought of not being able to eat them anymore," she replied seriously. He shot her a quizzical look as he left.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Kel twiddled with a loose thread from her nightgown, lost in her thoughts. *Should I trust Dom? Should I trust my heart? Or should I trust my own common sense . . . that as a knight, I shouldn't fall in love!* She heard a quiet knock at her door, barely audible in the small room. Getting up, she wondered who it could be.  
  
She was surprised to find Dom standing in the doorway, a sheepish grin on his face.  
  
"Um, can I come in?" he asked timidly.  
  
"Er, yea, sure, come on in," she replied, just as shy.  
  
She got out a few cups and added some more coals to the fire. Pulling up a wooden chair for her visitor, Kel made some tea in a small kettle. It was when she was carefully pouring some of the steaming brew from the pot did she notice that Dom was staring intently at her. She blushed deepy as she sat down on her bed.  
  
Dom took a deep breath before starting to speak. "Kel, I can't hide it any longer. I can't run from it, can't stand it. Kel, I /love/ you . . . more than I can bear to say." He paused, and looked at her to see her expression. Her face was one filled with shock, but underneath the obvious surprise, he could detect a hint of joy. Taking that as a good sign, he continued. "I really need to know . . . do you care for me? Have any feelings for this poor sergeant at /all/? I . . . I couldn't stop thinking about you. I really needed to find out!" With that, he stood up and strode over to her and took her hands, staring intently at her bright hazel eyes.  
  
"Dom . . .," she whispered softly, "Dom . . . I - I love you . . . but -"  
  
"Shh," he whispered soothingly as he gently ran his fingers up her jaw until they reached her chin. Tilting her face towards him, he kissed her gently, his lips meeting with hers. He kissed her again, more passionately, forcing her lips open with his tongue. Her tongue darted out to meet his. His mouth was so warm against hers . . . *This isn't right* she thought to herself *but, hell, it sure feels right!* Panting, he took his mouth away from hers and started from her neck, tiny little kisses that slowly worked their way up to the corner of her mouth. He gave her one more long, deep kiss before taking her into his arms and sitting on the bed.  
  
"Kel, I love you more than I can say . . . ," he murmured softly into her ears.  
  
"Mmm . . . it's getting late . . . ," she replied. Slowly, Dom got up and gave her a brief parting kiss before returning to his room.  
  
*Gods, I never knew I loved him that much . . . * thought Kel as she drifted off to sleep, the sweet taste of Dom still lingering on her lips.  
  
~*~*~*~ The next few days passed in a happy blur. Whenever he saw her, in the corridors, outside in the gardens, even at the practice courts, he would wink at her and mouth 'I love you.' At night, whenever he could, Dom would come over and they would sit in front the fire, content in each other arms. Kel's friends noticed a change; their friend's face was always glowing and she was back to what she was like before . . . maybe even better!  
  
However, there were two downsides to the matter. One was Cleon. He seemed to have noticed something developing between the handsome sergeant of Third Company and his former lover. But if he figured it out, he kept silent about it. Whenever he caught them smiling at each other, he would give Kel a sad look and glare at Dom. The second bad thing was that the day after their little "affair," Raoul called Kel to his office to give her assignment: She was to set out for Scanra with Fourth Company and prepare for war at the border near Fort Helmsreed *A/N Just went and saw LOTR: 2T* in a week's time. Dom, however, was assigned east of them at the notorious Fort Riverdell, where Scanran invaders had once massacred over 2,500 people 10 years ago. The two lovers were sad, but promised to write to each other.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A week later, they set out.  
  
  
  
----------  
  
to be continued . . .  
  
HEY!!! I'm back!!! Sorry took so long . . . sooo busy with school! But this week was finals, so no homework today (last day)!!! YAY!!! Please review, and I'll try to write again soon. Hope you like!!! And I really needed to add some mushiness in . . . HEEE. Don't worry . . . I'll be /back/!  
  
P.S. how do you do bold/italics n stuff? Would REALLY appreciate info! 


	10. Qwik Author's Note

Hi!! Thx for all the great reviews peeps! Sorry . . . I wanted to update today, but I didn't have time . . . soooo sorry!!! *sheepish grin . . . I was actually reading other stories . . . teehee* Another thing is that I'm kinda . . . *yes, that awful word . . . * istuck/i. I had the whole plot planned out before Christmas, but now I've forgotten it all!!! I kinda have a very bBASIK/b idea . . . but if you have any suggestions, write 'em to me in the reviews please! Thanks for all the support . . . write soon as possible me!  
  
-an0n1mu2 d0m LUVR 3 


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